Three Keys to Create Happiness

I want her to be happy

I just want you to be happy

I hope Alexa and Siri can make him happy :)

Well, even though as well-meaning as these sentiments are, they don't result in someone to raise their happiness quotient. We can never make others happy, it is their responsibility. Similarly, we are responsible for our own happiness.

Yes, you can lead with happiness and share your happiness with others. You can also invite others to participate into your life and add to your happiness. However, you have to first lead with happiness. The onus is on you to create your own happiness first.

So, what are some creative ways to lead with happiness and create your own happiness. Below are simple and effective strategies that anyone can do and see instant results for themselves -

1. Smile - You smile first and happiness ensues. Most of us have this backward. We wait for some external event to occur before we flash a smile. A smile is formed primarily by flexing the muscles at the sides of the mouth . Recent studies in science have shown that the mere act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, boost your immune system and possibly even prolong your life. So turn that frown upside down, smile first and often which can trick your brain into happiness and boost your health

2. Gratitude - When you are grateful, stress disappears and happiness appears. It is the best antidote to fear. It can be as simple as being grateful for the little things in life i.e. the wind on your face, the beautiful sunset, the fact that you are alive and breathing today. You can expand your gratitude to the quality of relationships, your successes, the blessings in your life. Let that feeling of gratitude wash over you, so you can feel its effect

3. Actualization - Being grateful is just half the equation. Recent studies have shown that we all have a default set-point of happiness. However, you can increase the set-point by taking action towards your goals and what you truly desire. Get clear on what you truly want, and begin working towards it. Happiness happens when you are making progress towards these goals.

We all have limited time on this planet, let's make it count. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled, and discard what doesn't.

Here's a question for you to ponder this week...

What makes you happy? What can you do more of this decade? What should you do less of?

Remember, You Can Choose Happiness!!!

With Love and Respect

Sincerely

Kal Aras

Kal Aras is a Leadership keynote speaker , Author and founder of 'Wisdom of Friends' show. He helps people expand their happiness and companies boost productivity and employee engagement for bottom line results

How to make a comeback from a setback?

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” ~ Lao Tzu

Life indeed throws a curve ball at us every now and then, doesn’t it? You can never predict what’s going to happen next, unless your level of awareness matches that of the ‘Sages of the Ages’ exclusive club members. But for an everyday Joe or Mary or Svetlana (I like that name, and I had to use it), things could get pretty stressful, if events happen contrary to what was planned, which they will along the path.

Now, there are different strategies that are in vogue to overcome these obstacles. The most common ones are to use ‘Deep Breathing’, ‘Be Positive’, ‘Hang in there’, ‘Take a Break’ and although these techniques are quite prevalent and useful, they tend to have its drawbacks. Some have temporary effects, while some are quite difficult to implement in the moment of truth. It is one thing to say and advise these techniques to others when you are not the one facing it, and then there is the case of executing it when it matters the most. Seldom are we able to overcome the obstacles without experiencing a degree of stress, and the ones with a strong will and determination eventually succeeds. But some of us perish, and give up at the first signs of trouble and go back to our habitual way of dealing with it.

In my view, life doesn’t have to be a struggle to accomplish what we desire. The desire is actually rooted deeply within us for a reason, and I believe it is waiting to be fulfilled. The masterstroke to thriving in life in my view is the gift of attention. The human mind has always played games on us – when things are going great, we feel great, when things seem to go downhill, we feel lousy and down. To counter the mind, the best technique is to use it’s own strengths to pin it down, like in judo, where one uses the opponent’s strengths to their own advantage. And the strength of mind is its unnerving ability to shift its attention at break neck speed.

Let me give an example, for instance, imagine on a Friday afternoon, you are getting ready to wind up from the office, and your boss comes in and drops a request on your desk to be completed before you head out. I think for most people, it would be a feeling of overwhelm, upset, frustration and taking it to the other extreme even anger. In this moment the mind’s attention is on a disempowering state, however the very next moment if you happen to pull the drawer to find two tickets to Hawaii and the trip is with your favorite person the next morning, you suddenly feel rejuvenated. Again, nothing’s changed at this point, but only your attention.

So, now let’s consider, if you could shift your attention at will, rather than have the mind run the controls, what would that make available for you? Regardless of what events or situations come up, imagine you are in control of your attention, and you can choose to put your attention towards an empowering objective. What would that be like for you? I think it would be amazing. Wouldn’t it? Easier said than done.

The first step towards any breakthrough is awareness. The next step is to identify the missing link, and the third step is to master the process. And if there is a fourth step, then it is becoming a genius in that area. But, let’s stick to the mastery of the process for now. The only way, I have noticed one can get a mastery of the attention process is by learning to concentrate, and the only effective way known to mankind is through meditation. The more hours one indulges in effective meditation (There are different types of meditation in vogue), the better one gets at this ability to shift attention at will.

So, to summarize, the empowering state to conquer the obstacles in life and to achieve peace of mind is through mastering the ability of shifting attention at will. And the best way to do it is through meditation. If you have not learnt to meditate up until now, don’t lose heart; it is never too late, begin taking small steps to learn the art of meditation.

How to Predict your Future and What to do about it if you don't like it?

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Goethe

Consider there are 4 possible variations of your future. It all depends on how you view life, and what context you are coming from. Many of us need to be reminded time and again that every moment in the future and the present is a new possibility – where anything is available that you are willing to create and take a stand for.

The 4 possible variations of the future are:

1. Hopeful future – we hope the future shapes a certain way
2. Inevitable future – we can predict that certain things are bound to occur whether we like it or not i.e. aging for instance
3. Probable almost certain future – if things continue the way they are going today, the future will shape up a certain way
4. Breakthrough Future – This is a future where you get to choose powerful and invent your life.

The first two future states above are indicative of some or the other variations of the past and how majority of the world live their lives. However the last two have a certain amount of influence and gives us the power to create. I like the last option, where one gets to create and generate a future that is devoid of any limitations and is based on the foundation that anything is possible.

Dissecting this a little further for the skeptical mind – some of us may still have the cynicism that not everything is possible, and the reason we harbor such a thought process is based on our experiences of the past and what we see the world to be. Although, we miss the point that we are the ones who have given the meaning to what is happening around us, and who we are as individuals.

The human potential is infinite, and can be, do and have anything they set their mind to. It all depends on the context we are coming from.

So, commit to an invented life that calls to you and take a stand such that events and circumstances will shape around your stand for the future. And that is living powerfully, living fully and living fully self expressed.

How to live an empowered life with grace and ease?

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

There comes a time in our lives when things start taking an upward spiral as we get into a rhythm after having created our own winning formula to deal with the ebb and flow of life. There are many ways to play the game of life. However, the article below highlights the traits of the successful v/s the extraordinary approaches.

Now, this is where the extraordinary people set themselves apart. 

The successful approach deals with a ‘play it safe’ or take an occasional risk theme that can provide a marginal amount of success every year, but nevertheless limits our options. People go into a state of contentment and accept the way things are and justify their approach with the phrase – “Take life as it comes” or “Let nature take its course” etc. Nothing wrong with this approach, it only limits the opportunities and options for the individual. It eliminates the possibility of stretching oneself to the maximum and realizing one’s full potential. And very often people end up hitting the proverbial mid-life crisis phase at some point or end up with quite convincing reasons for why they are the way they are. 

The second approach which I highly recommend is the way of the spiritual warriors or that of extraordinarily living. You don’t get comfortable with status quo, and rather create a game of life that is dedicated to a cause that stretches your imagination to the maximum. You welcome breakdowns as you know that this is your opportunity to create massive breakthroughs. This cause you have chosen is worthy of your life, worthy of the breakdowns you will have along the way. You set the intention in motion by declaring it to the world and then living your life in pursuit of the cause. It doesn’t even matter if at the end of the game, if you have achieved it or not. But you know in your heart that you gave it your all, and you lived life to the fullest. And very often than not, you will reach a mark of greatness and world fame. Examples of these high achievers are people like Gandhi, MLK Jr, Mother Teresa, JFK, Roger Federer etc.

Gandhi – Single handedly brought the entire British Empire on its knees

MLK Jr – Had Americans question their deepest values and what they stood for, and became the father of the civil rights movement

Mother Teresa – Gave love and caring a new meaning

JFK – Made a declaration of putting the first man on the moon and succeeded
Roger Federer – The most dominant athlete of the last two decades 

The secret to living life at this level is to use the BE- DO – HAVE approach. 

BE – The person you envision first

Do – Take the actions from that being

Have – Manifest the results you desire

Instead of HAVE- DO – BE which states that once I have the tools and the things I desire, I will then be able to take action and then become the person I want to be. This approach always leads to wanting and feeling of discontent and lack of fulfillment.

A slight change in strategy can tip the scales in your favor. Make that choice today, and choose to live powerfully!